Different New Year

The year came by so fast,
tons of memories were made.
when everything was supposed to be a blast,
your presence started to fade.

Every day I started wondering,
if I really was something
to you when you left me hanging,
from the times we used to be laughing.

Smiles that turned into frowns,
ups that turned into downs,
tears of joy turned into pain,
bright sunlight turned into unbearable rain.

Now all I wish is a different new year,
where I won't have to lay down the tears.
Because now I know my worth,
and my life would be happy without being hurt.

Quote of the Week

"It's never too late to be whoever you want to be." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

Quote of the week

"Keep moving forward." -Meet The Robinsons

The Set Up

When I was all alone and wishing
to meet a guy who is loving
who will be there to protect and help me
whenever I'm lost and crazy

Then all of a sudden I met you
who looked and felt very true
telling me I'm the best thing you ever had
saying those precious words makes me glad

Without a notice our story ended
after telling me that you only pretended
to love me and served it as a trap
making me feel as if I'm a piece of crap

you tricked me got me into this maze
where I believe in every single gaze
who are you to make this kind of set up
can't believe I loved a guy who can't even grow up

Quote of the Week

"Growing up means changing for the better things in life."

Questions

For every teardrop and smile
for every inch and mile
I ask a lot of things to myself
I want to search and ask for help

Wondering why do I regret this
and till now I cant forget your kisses
Seeking for the love we used to feel

tracing the pattern on how to heal

Like a ghost who suddenly appears
whenever I remember the fear
of losing you when it's already done
and it tears me up to think that you're gone

Questions that bothers my head

especially my heart that slowly shreds

into pieces for not knowing the answers

when I never even mattered 

Tired Heart

I'll do everything just for you,
I'll risk my life if it's the right thing to do.
Sacrificing my time and energy,
just to be appreciated for everything

Never said that you are mean,
when there are times that you're in between.
Made you smile when you are pissed,
but when it comes to me I'll just clench my fist.

For every effort that I gave,
just for me not to be replaced.
Gave what you needed just to being noticed,
yet still you're not focused.

Now I'm having a tired heart,
because of being dumb instead of being smart.
One day if I ever be gone,
it's because you've done me wrong.

Cold December

Christmas is around the corner,

so does my heart who needs an armor.

Feelings that used to be warm,

now it's too cold like there's a storm.

Looking back at spring,

where we used to be each other's fated red string.

At times where it's still summer,

our days were full of colors.

During autumn things started to change,

the way you say I love you sounds strange.

Words of promises that keeps on being broken,

and my every part of my heart is aching.

Relationship that turns into a cold December,

killing me inside that makes me surrender.

Will your ever change like an autumn,

when you'll get to save me from the bottom.

Quote of the Week

"Accept the past, enjoy the present, and plan for the future."

Worst Mistake

From happy memories,
into an unsuspected enemy.
Leaving me with scars and bruises,
slowly killing me with your excuses.

I loved you with all of my heart,
but you ripped my soul apart.
Ever since the day you've been gone,
I ask myself what have I done.

As I move on you came back,
after you gave me too much cracks.
You think I'll forgive you but you're wrong,
I'll never listen again to your favorite song.

Meeting you was the worst mistake,
still, thank you for the heartache.
because now you made me stronger,
knowing that I deserve someone better.

Fake Love

Looking back at the days,
when I wasn't yet replaced.
Memories that I still bring back,
listening to our favorite track.

Dreams that we used to have,
now it's just a piece of trash.
Promises that are now blurred,
still can't believe from the words I've heard.

After everything we've been through,
never knew that your feeling were never true.
Should have realized it before,
my tears start to pour.

Sometimes I even wonder,
was I loved because you were bored.
This relationship is a nightmare,
because all this time you never cared,

Quote of the Week

"It's okay not to be okay, don't force yourself to be strong."

Distance

When we used to be always together,
a day won't pass without a conversation.
Stories that we always gather,
making jokes without any hesitation.

 Sighting the moment you get inside the car,
life of mine will be difficult because you'll be far.
Thinking everything will change,
and things could get strange.

Days, months, years have passed,
thinking that until when will this last,
Because sentences slowly turns into phrases,
and phrases turns into words that turns into worse cases.

Will the pieces be complete again,
will fear be out of my brain.
Questions that keeps creeping me,
since the day the distance of ours became further than a sea.

Quote of the Week

"If your life is a mess right now, don't be afraid to change things in order to make it organized."

Stronger

Everyday with you was the worse,
so bad that I could even say a curse.
Telling me lies when you're the one I trust,
saying you love me when it's all just a lust.

For the times that I've been here for you,
stayed loyal and did everything that I can do.
can't believe that my instincts were right,
that I'm not the only one that you're holding tight.

How could you even do this to me,
giving me so much pain after what I've seen.
Now I'm gonna make sure the moment I leave,
you'll end up in grieve.

Quote of the Week

"It's never too late to start again, keep your head up and hope for the better."

Assumed

For the times I thought it was special,
expecting that it could have a potential.
After you said that you appreciate me,
and said that you kind of like me.

Trying to make myself look better,
even ending up giving you a random letter.
Cheering you up when you are down,
making goofy faces to erase that frown.

Then one day I heard that it was a joke,
confusion started the moment you spoke.
Explaining the situation you made,
and now all I want is to fade.

Should have never assumed at all,
making myself look so small.
Because I thought the feelings I had,
would never make me sad.

Quote of the Week

"Everything will be fine, just smile and stay positive."

Healing Time

Yesterday I used to be your lover,
now i'm just a stranger because it's over.
Can't believe everything has ended,
this reality is seriously unexpected.

We had a long journey together,
hoping that our relationship will be forever.
Unfortunately, everything's done
still confused ever since you're gone

Some guys try to mend my heart
yet I still cry and my life starts to fall apart.
Everything will never be the same,
knowing that I should be the one to blame

Hoping that one day my heart will be healed,
being able to survive in this battlefield.
Realizing that it's easier to accept and start smiling,
instead of denying and end up crying.

Your Shadow

Ever since the day we have met,
there are things that I never knew I'll regret
the fact that loving you is ridiculous,
and expecting the same is ambitious,

A day wouldn't be good without hearing your name,
making me smile though it sounds lame.
As time passes by so fast,
things changed but my feelings were still vast.

Should've thought that you'll be different one day,
now there's nothing left to say.
Starting to be ignorant and cold,
still, I held on to the words you told.

Till now I'm afraid of losing you even if it's a pain,
can't even choose who'll decide if it's the heart or the brain.
Maybe I was just born to be your shadow,
thinking that one day in the end, I will be the one who you will follow.

Wrong Move

every minute of the day

I always try to make your sadness away

every second that we're together

wanting it to last till forever

we could've been different than the rest

but you left me when I could've been your best

all the efforts and patience that I made

you tore me apart and ignore the things I've said

How could you say that you'll never leave me

when you never tried and never understood me

Should've accepted that I'll never be perfect for you

because I should've realized before that I'm too good for you

Sad February

This month was supposed to be fun,
but my heart became numb.
Walking alone under the sun,
realized that letting you go made me dumb.

Realizing that you're not by my side,
slowly kills me inside.
Memories living in my head,
planned dreams are already dead.

Heartbreaks can't seem to be fixed,
whenever sadness and pain starts to get mixed.
Will time help me to overcome,
from the damage and becoming undone.

Hoping that my life would be complete,
and days start to taste sweet.
Praying my scars will start to heal,
and loving myself would make things real.

Let Me Understand

Everytime I see you cry,
you keep insisting that you are fine.
Everytime you tell a lie,
you always say the same line.

How will I ever know,
if you don't want to show?
How will I ever see,
if you're not looking at me?

Doing these actions makes me mad,
but I always end up being sad.
Creating these issues makes me confused,
was I loved or was I used.

Know that I will always be at your side,
Willing to do everything and be your guide.
I will never let go of your hand,
so please let me understand.